The Mothers of Invention:Uncle Bernie's Farm

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“Uncle Bernie's Farm”
Artist: The Mothers of Invention
Albums: Absolutely Free (1967)

I'm dreaming
Oh no-o-o

There's a bomb to blow your mommy up
A bomb for your daddy too (Ouch)
A baby doll that burps and pees
A case of airplane glue
A hungry plastic troll
To scarf your buddy's arm
A box of ugly plastic things marked
Uncle Bernie's Farm

There's a little plastic congress
There's a nation you can buy
(I'll take two)
There's a doll that looks like mommy
She'll do anything but cry
(I seen her)
There's a doll that looks like daddy
He's a funny little man
Push a button and ask for money
There's a dollar in his hand
(Check his wallet)

We gotta send Santa Claus back to the Rescue Mission
Christmas don't make it no more
Don't you know that murder and destruction
Scream the toys in every store
(Think this'll sell in New York?)

There's a man who runs the country
There's a man who tried to think
And they're all made out of plastic
When they melt they start to stink
There's a book with smiling children
Nearly dead with Christmas joy
And smiling in his office
Is the creep who makes the toys

We got this car
When it hits the wall you see the guy dying
You got the little plastic puddles of blood that you put up on the car
I'm dreaming

And his intestines
You have plastic intestines you can stuff back into his stomach

There's this other thing
I've got bombs
I've got rockets
I've got a
I've got a Stilson wrench and plastic brass knuckles

And it comes with a tape recorder with sound effects
Screaming and crying

We got a thirty-nine Chevy