A F Harrold:Faust Is Not Dead

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“Faust Is Not Dead”
Artist: A F Harrold
Albums: An Englishman's Home Is His (Modestly Priced) Third Album (2006)

You may need to suspend your disbelief
In some portions of this song ladies and gentlemen
Some things are not
As they appear

I'm out with my baby on a Friday night
We're just hanging
Feeling all right
The sky is all black
There's the tiny white stars
And the bigger white lights are the passing-by cars
I'm out in public with the lover-ly Kate
It's a quarter past eleven which for me's pretty late
We went for a meal, she had some wine
I had my usual lemonade and I'm still feeling fine
And then we went to the pictures to watch a movie
And as we walked home she whistled Feelin' Groovy
We're holding hands as we walk down the street
And I figure from behind we must look kinda neat
Because me here in my sleek black suit
And her with her behind just looking real cute
We get back to her flat and I act real smooth
Because [...] politics that's when I should make my move
The she dims the lights, though, puts on Louie and Ella
And says
Gee Ash, I'm glad you're my fella
I think she just winked but I can't be sure
Though I know she (...) a little earlier on the door
And I'm sitting in the lounge thinking of something to rhyme with casual
This lemonade tastes funny and I asked for it straight
And then the door opens up and she says
Here's Kate
A little like Jack Nicholson in that feature film The Shining
And she's wearing something lacy and seductively reclining
My hands are getting clammy and I'm sure that won't impress her
She unbuttons my shirt, runs her hand across my vest
I say I'd better be going soon because you know I'm early in at work
She says
As she technically flirts
There's a foot that is mine, my boot's kind of shiny
As she slips, falls backwards shouting
Gor blimey
Her head hits the fireplace with a skull-dashing crash
And she thumps, not moving and as fast as a flash
She's turning slightly cold and she's turning slightly blue
In a fit of a panic I seek for something to do
And I'm hoping and I'm praying it's a trick of the light
And that her lips have been that colour for all of the night
And then there's a terrific gust of sulphur as someone roars
I've got to look sideways from the corner of my eye
I see a hint of red cape and a hint of stockinged thigh
It's the pointy toasting fork that really gives the biggest clue
Along with the horns and the fangs and the hooves of which there's two