The United States of America:I Won't Leave My Wooden Wife for You, Sugar
Now listen, Baby,
And try to understand
That tying you is fine
And whipping you is grand.
Now I just can't tell you how much fun it's been.
You make me feel twenty-five again.
But I can't leave my wooden wife for you, sugar
I got a split level house with a wonderful view, sugar,
A couple next door who do the things we do, sugar,
And every Saturday we sit around the pool.
If I should meet you on the street someday,
I hope you'll understand me if I look away,
It isn't that I'm ashamed about you and me
But I've got to consider my morality.
And I won't leave my wooden wife for you, sugar,
I got a split level house with a wonderful view,
Three sweet kids and Yorkshire terrier, too,
And I just couldn't stand it when you come home late from school.